Review- 10 Things I Can See From Here

Hey all! I’m sorry for my absence from WordPress. Life got in the way, you know? A sick cat, work, and general life changes all struck me in the past 2 weeks. Hopefully, I’ll be getting my reading back on track in the next few days. I’m excited for this next review, because I believe it’s an important YA book for youth today. Thanks for reading!

10 Things I Can See From Here by Carrie Mac

“Don’t look down. Look around. Tell me ten things that you can see from here.”

31019571Genre: YA fiction
Format: Paperback ARC
Publication date: Feburuary 28, 2017
Publisher: Knopf Books
Page count: 320

Star rating: 3.5/5 

Maeve struggles with extreme, debilitating anxiety. She has hundreds of facts about death rates stored in her brain, and they pop up out of nowhere. For example, when riding the train, she constantly thinks about how many people die on trains per year. Maeve is often told to ‘think positively’ or ‘keep her chin up’ when the subject of her anxiety is brought up. This is very irritating and it feels like people who don’t have an anxiety disorder just don’t get it. Despite this, Maeve meets a girl who can see past her anxieties and coach her through panic attacks. Navigating through a new relationship has its ups and downs, but this girl is certainly worth it.

This review is going to be challenging for me. The beginning of 10 Things I can See From Here really turned me off. I almost set the book down after the first 100 pages. After that, I started enjoying the book and, by the end of it, I was so glad that I didn’t put it down. If I forget about the first half of the book, this was one of my favorite reads of the year. I’m going to split this review up by first half and second half of the book.

~~~~First Half~~~~

I’m totally for writing about mental illnesses in literature, especially young adult fiction. I think it’s really important for representation and education for people of all ages. That being said, I think the way Maeve’s anxiety disorder was written was not the best. I have two reasons why I think it could have been written better.

  • Reading about Maeve’s anxiety gave ME anxiety. In almost every change of scenery, Maeve worries about many different catastrophic scenarios in which freak accidents happen. It wasn’t that I was anxious that these same horrible deaths would happen to me; just reading about someone having so much anxiety made me feel that way too. The thing is, I don’t usually have such a visceral experience when I read books with anxious characters. To me, this means that Maeve’s anxiety was not written in a way that is beneficial to people who struggle with anxiety. I would have liked to see a novel about a protagonist with anxiety that is better for readers with anxiety to read.
  • In addition to the fact that Maeve’s anxiety disorder was not written well for readers with anxiety, I also don’t think it was written well for people without anxiety. Maeve’s constant spew of death rates and facts about dying was almost annoying. I think people who don’t experience severe anxiety would stay away from this book, as they would be irritated. One of the points of writing about mental illnesses is to educate the general population. But, in order to educate, people must want to read these books. I think there is definitely a way to make books about mental illnesses interesting to people who have never experienced symptoms. Unfortunately, this book didn’t do it as well as I hoped.

The first half of 10 Things I can See From Here mostly dealt with Maeve’s anxiety. I couldn’t get into it, for the two reasons I listed above. The book truly got much, much better in the second half. Here’s why:

~~~~Second half~~~~

“Being queer was also about not being into boys. Just as it was about attraction, it was also about the absence of attraction, like white space…Girls shimmered as if all the light shone on them and not on the boys at all. Boys were hardly there, just shadows and background noise.”

Maeve’s sexuality becomes a big part of this book in the second half. I absolutely loved how this was written. Maeve truly loves herself and doesn’t judge who her body loves. Maeve meets Salix and their romance is written like any heterosexual YA love. 10 Things I Can See From Here doesn’t rely on any lesbian stereotypes, which is a huge deal for YA. Maeve and Salix’s relationship develops very organically and is so refreshing to read. This made the book wonderful.

In addition, there is a scene in which Maeve becomes annoyed with Salix acting as if she ‘gets’ anxiety, despite not having an anxiety disorder. Maeve is hurt that Salix doesn’t understand. Salix later explains that she does experience anxiety, as most people do, but not to the degree that Maeve does. Using the skills that Salix learned from her own anxiety, she coaches Maeve through an attack by telling her to name 10 things she can see around her. This is a real skill that therapists tell their patients, as a mindfulness and grounding technique. This shows readers that people who don’t have certain disorders can still understand and can definitely still help those who suffer from them, which is an important lesson.

Also, I loved how Maeve’s father and his sobriety were written. Addicts relapse, this is something that many addicts and their family know. Maeve’s dad relapses and essentially hits rock bottom, as that’s what often happens when addicts relapse after long-term sobriety. Reading about how her father picks himself back up and goes to AA meetings every day is a healthy representation of what recovery looks like. It’s nice that a positive light was shone on a twelve-step program in a YA novel.

There were many parts that I didn’t like about 10 Things I Can See From Here, but there were more things that I did like about this book. Maeve’s anxiety was not written well, but the parts that I did like were done in such a great way that it made the book, overall, very enjoyable. I applaud Carrie Mac for writing a young, lesbian relationship in a manner that makes her queer audience feel safe and happy. In addition, I applaud her for writing about addiction and AA in a respectful manner. Despite the rocky beginning, I liked this book a lot.

 

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Review- Idlewild

Idlewild by Jude Sierra

51siHUGjx-L._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_Genre: Romance
Format: Paperback
Publication date: December 1, 2016
Publisher: Interlude Press
Page count: 234
Star rating: 4.5/5

 

“It’s been more than long enough for Asher to move past the debilitating stages of grief, past the longing and loneliness, past knowing he’d never be able to love someone else that way and past the moment he realized that though he’d never have that again, he could have something.
Somehow, that realization required it’s own grief.”

I haven’t read a romance in so long. But, man, did I love this. It’s full of EVERYTHING—passion, fluffiness, parts that make you smile so wide your face hurts, and parts that make you put down the book and cry for a quick second. I’m so happy I picked up Idlewild at the Interlude Press booth at BookCon. This is my first ever review of a romance, and I’m so, so excited to write this!

Asher is starting anew. He’s firing his entire staff at his restaurant, Idlewild, and clearing the slate. He and his partner, John, started Idlewild back when they both dreamed of owning a restaurant in Detroit. Now, years after John’s death, Asher wants a crew that never knew his old life. Tyler, a young man with passion-filled eyes, joins his team as a rookie server. From the beginning, Asher is drawn to Tyler in ways that he cannot explain, and the feeling is mutual. Tyler, in an unsteady relationship, yearns to find a place at Idlewild and Asher searches for someone to connect with after John’s death. Perhaps, these two men can find what they’re looking for in each other.

Let’s start with the quotation I highlighted above—

Idlewild brings up the parts of grief that aren’t usually talked about in romance novels that involve love after loss. Asher has long accepted that he’ll never again have what he and John had, but he’s at the point where he can see himself having some sort of relationship with someone new. This realization brings up its own kind of mourning. Asher is torn because finding solace in Tyler can feel like pushing John out of his mind and life. Tyler does an amazing job showing Asher that talking about John instead of bottling his grief up can be very healing and release so much guilt about starting a new relationship. This is something beautiful.

I loved the contrast between Tyler and Asher. Tyler is young, he is not quite sure who he wants to be, and he’s full of light and charisma. Asher has more life experience under his belt, he keeps to himself, and he doesn’t show emotions easily. The two men are very different, but they complete each other in ways that make their relationship function well. It was such a journey to see Asher help Tyler find his place in the world, as well as Tyler help Asher confront his grief. Many scenes with the two of them together were so moving that I actually cried. Yes, this is the first book to make me cry real, physical tears in 2017. Idlewild certainly put me through it.

Well, now I really want to read more romance. But seriously, it was such a pleasure getting to witness Asher and Tyler’s budding relationship. I can’t believe I actually cried, but I’m also not too surprised because there were many emotion-filled scenes. This novel left me feeling very pleased, which I’m grateful for. I’m not one for books that make me uncomfortable, so Idlewild was right up my alley. I’m excited to read the other Interlude Press books that I got at BookCon!

Review- Rosie Colored Glasses (ARC)

Rosie Colored Glasses by Brianna Wolfson

cover112238-mediumGenre: Adult fiction
Format: ARC paperback (thank you Harlequin!)
Publication date: February 20, 2018
Publisher: MIRA
Page count: 329 (keep in mind that this is an uncorrected proof)
Star rating: 5/5

Wow! I loved this book. I’m so grateful that Harlequin gave me an ARC at BookCon. This is easily my favorite read of the summer, so far. There are a few content warnings I’d like to give, but some of them will spoil the plot. The big one that I’ll mention is that this book talks about addiction in great depth. I’m really looking forward to this review, so please read on!

Even though she was stoned.
Even though she promised herself she wouldn’t do this.
Even though she wished none of this was happening.
Rosie drove to Rex’s house to pick up her children.”

Willow is just a fifth grader trying to navigate through her marshmallow cereal, a little brother with a lisp, and her parent’s divorce. Besides a few accidents, including one on the playground with her classmates, Willow is doing a pretty great job keeping herself together, especially with the strict rules at her dad’s house. Rosie, her mom, is the more fun parent. Rosie lets Willow and her brother eat ice cream late at night and put on makeup and costumes before watching a movie. Things are going particularly well for Willow, Rosie even visits her at recess, but then something in her mom changes. Willow wants her fun, care-free, loudly loving Rosie back, but she’s afraid that mom is gone forever.

This book is told in the different perspectives of Willow’s family members. I was blown away by the narrations from Willow and Rosie because they are so raw. Seriously, I felt like I was looking into their souls. Willow is so full a fear and just wants love. She wants love from everyone, especially her father, Rex, who she does not get any love from. She craves that father-daughter love so badly that it hinders her relationship with Rex. What she doesn’t know is that Rex wants that love too, but shuts himself out. This is a beautiful (that somehow feels like the right word to use here) dilemma that taps into deep concepts of love in family dynamics. I’m taken aback by how much Willow’s need for affection and comfort touched me.

I want to go back to the quotation that I inserted above the synopsis of this title. One thing that many addicts use to distinguish themselves from recreational substance users is the fact that they cross boundaries they lay out for themselves. For example, someone may tell themself that they will drink no more than twice a week; and they will stick to that rule. On the other hand, someone who struggles with substance abuse will break rules that they set for themself, as the disease makes it impossible for them to stop. A lot of people don’t understand this aspect of addiction. Although it encourages self-blaming thinking, it is not uncommon for people to think “why can’t addicts just choose to stop taking their drug of choice?” I’m really glad that Rosie Colored Glasses included this passage about Rosie breaking the boundaries she sets for herself and what she will not do while on drugs.

In addition to the quotation I inserted into the beginning of this novel, I want to point out one more:

“Vicodin welcomed Rosie’s affinity for her high. Vicodin coiled around Rosie and squeezed her so tight she was unable to move. Unable to parent. Unable to do much of anything at all. Except lie there alone and breathe.
Until she couldn’t even do that.”

I don’t really have much to say about this quotation, because I know what I write will not do it justice. I’d just like my readers to reflect on what this is trying to say about substance abuse and how much drugs can both bring someone up and push them back down.

I’m so excited for this book to hit bookstore shelves in February. This was the realest, most raw book I’ve read in 2017, so far. Willow’s crippling desire to be loved is something I’ll never forget. Rosie’s growing dependence on opiates and how it affects everyone in her family will stay with me, as well. I’m ready to name Rosie Colored Glasses to every adult who asks me for book recommendations. Brianna Wolfson did an amazing job with this book. Thank you to Harlequin for kindly giving me a copy of this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

May/June 2017 Wrap Up!

May/June 2017 Wrap Up

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Books read: 11

Hello everyone! I’m back on track with my wrap-ups. I tried to take a good photo of them all, but then remembered that some were from the library. So, not all of them are pictured, but I tried my best! Overall, I had a solid reading month and got through many requests and books from BookCon. My reviews averaged a little lower than usual, at a 3.09. Here’s the breakdown:

I Must Have You by JoAnna Novak // fiction // 3 stars.
~~~~I picked this up because it was the first book I’ve seen in a long time that deals with eating disorders. To build on this, most books about eating disorders are YA, so they often don’t elaborate on the ugly parts of the illnesses. This book really showed how scary anorexia and bulimia can be. Unfortunately, I wasn’t a big fan of the plot, so that affected the review for me. If you want to see my full review: click here x.

It’s Not Like It’s a Secret by Misa Sugiura // YA fiction // 4 stars
~~~~I was so excited that my workplace was sent the ARC for this title. It’s about a queer, Asian-American girl who moves to a new school and finds herself crushing on a female classmate. It’s such a wonderful story that also touches on racism and homophobia. There was one chapter that made me cringe, so my review went down one star. Other than that, I loved this book!

Our Own Private Universe by Robin Talley // YA fiction // 4 stars
~~~~My first Robin Talley book! It was everything I could want from a ‘queer girls goes off to summer camp and finds herself’ novel. I went to the Harlequin booth at BookCon, in search of recommendations, and they named this book. I had already read it, but I was so happy that the representative and I got to chat about it briefly. Beware, this is a really cute book. In addition, has a few sexual scenes, if that bothers you. This was my favorite book of May!

Rest in the Mourning by r.h. Sin // poetry // 4 stars
~~~~This is the best poetry book I’ve read in a while. I had a dry spell where I couldn’t really get into any poetry books I picked up. This one definitely got me out of that funk. The poems were mostly short, but they touched on delicate subjects, like consent and rape. r.h. Sin really captured me with this work.

Cottonmouths by Kelly J. Ford // fiction // 3 stars
~~~~I picked up this book because I hadn’t read a F/F mystery in a long time. It ended up not being very F/F or mystery at all. It is mostly a very, very uncomfortable fiction novel with a queer main character who is super unlikeable. I kept reading because I was intrigued at how squirmy I was getting. If you want to see my few review of this book, click here x.

Memories by Lang Leav // poetry // 3 stars
~~~~I didn’t care for this collection of poems very much. This is probably because I can’t relate to break-up and broken hearted themes. I ended up skipping through most of the book just for the sake of getting through it. I’m disappointed, because I’ve heard so many great things about Lang Leave, but I just couldn’t do this one.

Smack by Melvin Burgess // fiction // 3 stars
~~~~I picked up this book because it was on a Goodreads list with Crank and Go Ask Alice, both which I loved. I aim to read a lot of books about addiction, as I believe that it’s a disease that the general public needs to know more about. This book was a very quick read, similar to the two books I mentioned before. Unfortunately, it wasn’t executed as well as the other ones and was much less interesting. Still, a great read with important takeaways.

Charlotte and Daisy by Amanda Rotach Huntley // science fiction // 4 stars
~~~~This was the first book I read after I got back from BookCon. It was the perfect start to my enormous pile of 27 books. The story touches on mental illnesses, specifically depression and PTSD, and has many educational scenes in it. I am very pleased with the amount of research and effort Amanda Rotach Huntley puts into her writing. If you want to read my full review, click here x.

Nothing is Strange by Mike Russell // science fiction // 4 stars
~~~~I was sent a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All 20 short stories brought me into their own wacky world. I’m not a short story fan, but these really blew me away. If you’re looking for a quick, weird sci-fi read, this is it. My full review can be found here x.

10 Things I Can See From Here by Carrie Mac // YA fiction // 3 stars
~~~~I’m really looking forward to writing a full review of this. This book touches on anxiety, alcoholism, and LGBT themes. I was not a fan of how the anxiety piece of this book was executed. It wasn’t written in a way for neurotypical people to enjoy reading it. Once the book got past that and into the second half, it was AMAZING. The way the main character’s budding queer relationship developed and the scenes with her alcoholic father played out were very well written. Be on the look out for a review in the future!

Understanding the Alacran by Jonathan LaPoma // fiction // 3 stars
~~~~This was another request that the author kindly sent to me in exchange for a review. This book truly showed the reality of alcoholism. The characters were also very developed, although unlikeable. I’m so glad this book made its way to me, because I learned a lot from it. If you want to see my full review, click here x.

That’s it for my wrap-up! I’m noticing that I mostly stuck to fiction for the past 2 months. I did read a lot of YA, though, which is different. I’m glad that I read so many LGBT themed books, since June was pride month. Thanks for tuning in with me and I’ll see you at the end of July!